


Tutored to Love

by kaichocosoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: F/M, Genderbend, femjongin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 15:57:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9449168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaichocosoo/pseuds/kaichocosoo
Summary: When Jongin thought that she will know nothing outside of her routine, Kyungsoo comes in.





	1. -1-

**Author's Note:**

> Another cross post from AFF. Written for a while now but decided to bring it also here in AO3. :)  
> Enjoy!~

When Jongin was told that Ms. Lee has called for her right after her classes, she knew what to expect. It’s not like she is looking forward to the _talk_ that she will have with the dance club advisor but she’s holding onto a small hope that they will be talking about something else other than what she has been dreading. Jongin has to climb down two flights down to get into the teachers’ lounge where she will be meeting the teacher. At the last second, she remembered to text Yixing that she will be quite late for their practice. He replied quickly with an _okay, Jonginnie. Take your time and see you later._

She took a deep, calming breath before she knocked thrice out of courtesy and then opened the door slowly. She’s greeted with a few sets of sofa that are arranged neatly to sit almost half of their faculty members. There perched in one end is Ms. Lee, looking at her quite expectantly. Without any other choice, Jongin strode towards her with a small, shaky smile and greeted her with a polite bow.

“You called for me, Ms. Lee?”

Ms. Lee’s welcoming expression turned into a solemn one and Jongin knew she’s screwed.

“Jongin-ah, I’ve heard that you’ve failed three of your mid-term exams,” said girl tried not to flinch hard upon hearing the shameful fact. By no means is Jongin a genius but she’s quite above average and that is the reason why she has gotten her scholarship and was able to maintain it for two straight years until now. She has started quite stable this term but it only started to go downhill because of the annual intercity dance competition that she and the rest of the dance club competes in.

Jongin didn’t mean to have lesser time to study and even neglect some of her requirements. It’s just that the competition is demanding much of her focus and time, if she would want to lead the team to victory this time around. She could feel the pent-up frustration from her teammates when they failed the past two years and she promised to herself to put a stop to that when she was appointed as their leader.

But it seems like she can’t get the best of both worlds because she’s standing inside the teacher’s lounge with her scholarship on the line.

It’s just then that Jongin has realized the gravity of her actions. She might lose her scholarship and she can’t have that. Her scholarship is important to her because this is the reason why her mother has started to smile again after her father died four years ago. It’s not like she can’t support Jongin financially but Jongin made it her life’s mission to do things that would make her mom proud of her and give her an incentive for trying to continue living even though losing her husband has gotten her broken. She could feel tears prickling on her eyes as she remembered their dark times.

Ms. Lee smiled understandingly at her and pulled her to take the seat beside her. Jongin was then being hugged and she let herself to cry. She’s not with the teacher Ms. Lee anymore but she’s now with her Hyorin unnie, friend to her mom and one of the persons who gave her strength after losing her father unexpectedly.

“It’s going to be okay, Jongin-ah. You’re not going to lose your scholarship just yet. I’ve… I’ve set you up for tutoring sessions after the competition. There should still be enough time for you to catch up,” Hyorin assured her with gentle pats on her back. “I don’t want you giving up on dancing. It’s the one thing that keeps you going but rules are rules, dear. You need to work harder and I know you can do it.”

Jongin is grateful for Hyorin. If not for her, she wouldn’t have known what to do with her mother and herself. The elder didn’t hesitate to get out of her way for her and her mom. And the least that Jongin could do for her is to make her help worthwhile. She gave her a tight hug before letting go, all teary eyes and a small smile.

“Thank you, unnie. I—I’ll work hard, I promise.”

“Just don’t overwork yourself, Jongin-ah. You have the tendency to do everything independently but that won’t work all the time. If you need help, ask for it. Your teammates are good so trust their abilities and rely on them. Win together and win as one. Your grades took a blow but you are a smart girl; you can do this. But if it’s hard at times, I’m here if you need help beyond what your tutor could give you,” Hyorin started to smile as Jongin’s tears ceased.

“I understand, unnie. Thank you. Just… thank you. For being there for me and mom.”

“Don’t mention it, silly. I love you and your mom. And I’m sure your tutor will help you keep your scholarship. You’re going to meet him here on Monday after class, okay?”

It barely registered to Jongin that her tutor is a guy. She’s just happy that she’s still given a chance and this made her even more determined to not let all her hardwork and sacrifice go to waste.

“Okay, unnie.”

 

Jongin has forgotten to tell Ms. Lee that she has a scheduled meeting and practice with her teammates after her class the Monday following their talk. She has been prone to forgetfulness lately that she jumped when she heard her phone go off in front of her, displaying a dorky shot of Hyorin. She groaned inwardly and excused herself from the meeting. Thankfully, it’s more of refining points of their choreography so they could handle themselves for a little while.

_“Jongin? Where are you?”_

“I’m so sorry, unnie. I’m with the team right now. I kinda… uhm, forgot?”

Hyorin sighed from the other line. _“Couldn’t you leave for a bit? Your tutor has took his time to wait for you here so you could meet prior your sessions. I wouldn’t want to do it closer to the competition…”_

Guilt made Jongin flinch and she looked back to her team. It seemed like they could be left alone so she fetched her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

“Sorry, Ms. Lee. I’ll be there.”

Her teammates looked up at her questioningly and she smiled sheepishly. “Sorry guys. Ms. Lee is introducing me to my tutor and I completely forgot about it.”

Yixing then smiled at her and waved his hand, dismissing her. “You can go, Jongin-ah. We’ll be fine,” he smiled even wider, his deep dimples showing.

“Thanks. I will be back before we start the practice…”

Her assistant leader stood and pushed her out of the dance studio. “Go, Jongin. You’ve done more than enough for the competition, let us do something, yeah?”

Hyorin’s words echoed in her head at that and she smiled apologetically. “Alright, sorry. Just let me know if you need me here…”

“Yes, mom. Now go. Ms. Lee might give us hell too if we are the reason that you’re even more late.”

So Jongin walked across the short distance to the main building and headed towards the teachers’ lounge for the second time in two days. She knocked on the door before opening it as carefully as she had yesterday. She easily found Hyorin because she’s sitting where she had been the day before and she didn’t miss the guy with her. Jongin knew him and she’s quite comforted that her tutor isn’t a complete stranger.

He’s Do Kyungsoo, a year ahead of her but they attended the same high school. He had been somewhat famous back then because he is smart, attractive and surprisingly friendly. He’s got the round nerdy glasses perched on his nose, dresses in a way that he blends in the crowd easily and his poker face is kind of intimidating yet, he wasn’t too easy to ignore whenever he smiles. His eyes turn into crescents and his lips curls into a heart that makes him look like a cute little doll on display in a toy store. And she has known that Kyungsoo has been one of the active tutors then as well. Jongin may have harbored a small crush on the elder before but just as it has sprouted, she had to bury it deep into the back of her mind because of her father’s passing.

“There you are, Jongin!” Hyorin called her over with a little too much excitement in her voice. It puzzled Jongin but she shrugged it off and joined her advisor and to-be tutor. Kyungsoo turned to her and she almost tripped on her foot when he smiled at her. She has seen him smile before but there is something about it that was disarming. The tutee willed away a blush and pretended that nothing happened. “I didn’t know you and Kyungsoo went to the same high school.”

“Yeah. He’s a year ahead of me but I know of him,” she replied to Hyorin and didn’t forget her manners despite rediscovering her crush on her tutor. “My grades are in your hand, Kyungsoo-ssi. Please take care of me.”

Kyungsoo bowed to her as well and a misplaced playfulness on his innocent features flashed on his large, clear eyes. “I intend to do everything in my power to help you, Jongin-ssi. Let’s take care of each other.”

He extended is hand and Jongin jolted into attention, waking from her slight daze at the fact that she’s still attracted to this guy, and accepted it in a shake. She can’t help but notice that Kyungsoo’s grip is uncharacteristically firm. She’s expected a soft and gentle hold but it’s the opposite. Interesting, she mused as their handshake lasted a little longer than necessary.

“Since this is settled, I expect a progress report from you Kyungsoo after every other session and I think it is better for you to share numbers so that it will be convenient for you to set-up your sessions. This arrangement is temporary, don’t worry. Just until Jongin’s grades are safer than stable. Is that good for the both of you?”

Hyorin must’ve said something important judging from the tone of her question but Jongin was locked in a silent trying of the atmosphere between her and Kyungsoo. They’re looking into each other with unconcealed interest and amusement. Ms. Lee simply sighed as she witnessed this, debating with herself if she made a mistake or initiated something good to brew.

**Do Kyungsoo**

Today is your competition, right?

Good luck, Jongin-ah! ;)

Thanks oppa~ the offer still stands btw :D

I’ll have you know that I’m not a person for clubs, I’m sorry.

Hu says u hav to be?

I’ll be downright awkward there. =_=

That’s ok! U r comin there to just watch

Its ok to not talk to anybody u might get kidnapped :O

Wow. So much trust you have for me.

I feel like proving you wrong now.

I can take care of myself, you know?

Hmm, I dunno. Maybe I do have to see ;P

Is that a challenge?

^_^

You’re on.

Yey! U hav to see me later oppa.

It feels like you tricked me to this.

But I’ll see you later. :)

\\(^-^)/ :*

Jongin’s giggles were cut-off when her phone was snatched from her. It has just been two days since she has exchanged numbers with Kyungsoo but they have been constantly texting. She has never been this attached to her phone ever and that’s the reason why it has gotten Yixing’s attention. Their leader has been suspiciously smiling to her phone whenever she has it in her hands since the day that she was called by Ms. Lee. His curiosity has him snatching the phone and he was surprised to see the name of the person she has been messaging.

“I didn’t know that you know Kyungsoo. What a small world, indeed,” he remarked teasingly. When Jongin blushed brightly, he can’t help but laugh in amusement. It’s the first time that he has seen the younger react like that because of a person, a guy at that. He has witnessed Jongin getting much attention from the male population but she’s usually just bashful and she politely wiggles her way out of their clutches.

But a shy and blushing Jongin? That’s new.

“I… uhm, we were schoolmates before and… he’s gonna be my… tutor,” she answered in a near whisper. But then she looked at Yixing with a question. “How do you know him, anyway?”

Yixing smirked at her. “Oh, that makes sense. Sorry I forgot that you are cooped up in your own world outside of dance but I’ll have you know that Kyungsoo is my roommate and he’s also Luhan’s ex.”

Jongin choked on her spit. “Luhan? _Our Luhan?!_ ”

Xi Luhan is the eldest member of the dance club and she’s like a living doll. She could’ve easily been the club’s leader but she relinquished the role to Jongin because she said that she’s a better follower anyway. And Jongin could’ve also sworn that she has been forever with Sehun but apparently, she had a boyfriend before him. And it was even Do Kyungsoo. _What the hell?!_

“Yup. Our Luhan,” Yixing’s smirk grew even more mischievous. “Why do you look so surprised, Jonginnie?”

“N-nothing. Just thought that Lu unnie has always been with Sehun. And um, it didn’t seem like she and K-kyungsoo-ssi…” she mumbled, slowly feeling embarrassed at her reactions. So what if Kyungsoo had a girlfriend? Even though he doesn’t look like he’s already had one, how could he not? And it’s Luhan so it’s totally understandable. How could anyone not like sweet, bubbly and cute Luhan? Jongin swallowed the slight bitter taste in her mouth.

“Kyungsoo may look very much innocent but he’s not, Jonginnie. I’d say that you should be careful around him,” the elder tried to put up a serious façade but he failed miserably, ending up chuckling in mirth. “But as I could see, my warning is already too late.”

Affronted, Jongin swiped her phone from Yixing’s hold and harrumphed away from him, muttering about nosy seniors.

 

Jongin couldn’t help but cry as she received the champion’s trophy in behalf of her team. She was being huddled around but she managed to raise their proof of triumph high in the air for everyone to see. All of the hours that they have spent in rigorous practice have bore fruit and there they are, standing on the highest level of the podium with the biggest smiles on their faces.

She squealed when Yixing led the others into lifting her up with cheers. Jongin wasn’t able to do anything about it but be mindful that she won’t fall over. She hugged their trophy close and when her eyes swept through the audience, she has spotted Ms. Lee beaming proudly at them and someone with a familiar smile is standing beside her. The renewed thumping in her chest came back. She didn’t mind it over the joy that she is feeling and she was even bold enough to wink and send a flying kiss to the amused Kyungsoo who’s almost drowned from all the people around him.

They were eventually ushered off the stage but the high is still palpable. Every one of their team are still cheering and there is just too much energy but Jongin doesn’t mind.

“You were awesome,” came a voice from behind her and she jerked away in surprise. Kyungsoo was rubbing his nape shyly when she turned around to see the culprit behind her shock. “Sorry. I just wanted to congratulate you.”

Jongin came back to her senses partially and still driven by her emotions. She acted upon impulse and pulled her tutor to-be into a hug, the need to channel all the excess buzzing in her brain has gotten too much. It’s just that Kyungsoo was at the right place. “Thank you, thank you! Thank you for coming, oppa.”

Sturdy arms held her in place and she felt the rambling from Kyungsoo’s chest as he chuckled. “You’re welcome. I did say that I will be able to take care of myself, didn’t I? Here I am so do you believe me already?”

“Well, well, well,” Yixing’s unnaturally high voice pierced through Jongin’s thoughts. The realization of what she’s done has her pulling away from the nice hug and glaring at her assistant leader. “I thought you didn’t want to come, Soo. What with it being a Wednesday and tomorrow still a school day. I’m so hurt right now,” Yixing dramatically clutched his chest and pouted at his roommate.

“I did text you to say that I changed my mind. Ask Lu, too. I told her as well,” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and stepped closer to where Jongin was standing and watching. How did she manage to miss all of this interaction? Has she been too cooped up, just like Yixing has said?

“And you changed your mind because? You only ever came to these things because of Lulu,” Yixing pressed and Jongin has started to get annoyed. Where is he going with all these questions?

“Came here to support my tutee and it implicitly includes you lot. It wouldn’t hurt if we became friends, right?”

Jongin didn’t just feel a pang through her chest at the word friend. She swears she didn’t.

“Soo! You’re really here!” Luhan bounded towards them with the brightest grin that Jongin has ever seen. She still looked so pretty under low light and Jongin wishes she could do that too. Her insecurities about her slightly tan skin surfaced but she pushed them down. The night is supposed to be a celebration and she should keep everyone’s spirits up.

But it was kind of hard to maintain when Luhan has hugged Kyungsoo right in front of her. How could she get all chummy with her ex like that? Sehun’s surely just around so doesn’t she mind what her boyfriend would think of it? Her questions were answered as said boyfriend appeared not too long after and greeted Kyungsoo with a smile and a one-arm hug. Luhan then went to her boyfriend and wrung her arm around his waist happily.

“Why are you so surprised that I came?” Kyungsoo huffed. “Can’t you just be happy that I came and cheered for you, guys?”

It was Yixing who opened his mouth again and Jongin swears to find something on the elder later on. “Because you never tried to be friends with your previous tutees before. Why Jongin?”

“Why not?” Kyungsoo answered vaguely and those two words have kept Jongin up all night, thinking on the endless possibilities of what could that have meant.

 

They agreed to have their first session the Friday following the competition. Jongin reasoned that it’s better to have something to do during the weekends and Kyungsoo said that he didn’t mind, that he didn’t have anywhere to go on Friday nights, anyway. Jongin made a mental note on that, maybe try to schedule regular sessions on Friday nights. It’ll only be five weeks until the finals and once-a-week sessions might not be able to cut it.

Jongin admits to being too eager on this tutoring but only to herself. She wouldn’t dare admit it to Yixing, most especially to Luhan who has gotten interest into her non-existent relationship with her ex. Okay, so what if she didn’t have time to have crushes before this reunion with her last? Is it a crime to feel it right now? Was it her fault that she didn’t find anyone interesting before this? And Kyungsoo is single, the only helpful information that Yixing has told her, so what’s the harm in a little flirting here and there?

She groans into her pillow when she wonders if Kyungsoo does see her flirting as _flirting_. It’s not like she has enough experience in that area. They continued to text each other and it’s slowly becoming a habit to Jongin to check her phone every now and then for messages from Kyungsoo. The last one on their conversation thread is Kyungsoo telling her that he’s on his way to her house.

And since Jongin is anticipating for this, she’s already set a low table in her room and prepared her notes and books at the side. She thought that this set-up is best since her study table is quite crammed up. She’s already made sure that her floor is good enough to sit on and let her mother know that she’s having a friend over to study.

She felt a little guilty from lying to her by omitting the fact that the study session is because of her failed tests but she didn’t want her mom to worry unnecessarily. Not when she looked so happy when she has congratulated Jongin on their win in the intercity dance competition. Her mom replied an okay and reminded her to prepare snacks for her and her _friend_ , order dinner if needed and that she will be coming home late. Jongin sighed. It’s not a new set-up and she knows that her mother is trying to keep herself busy at all times. It may not be the healthiest option but if her mind is at ease, Jongin can’t call her out for it.

The doorbell caught her attention and she sprinted down to the main door to greet her guest. She was prepared to greet Kyungsoo in a friendly way but seeing him looking so _different_ has got the words stuck in her throat. It reminded her of that night of the competition where she has seen Kyungsoo wear something else besides plain sweatshirt and pants.

He’s wearing a white tee under a black jacket and denim skinny jeans. He’s got one strap of his backpack on his shoulder. His hair was done up and he’s foregone his glasses. It wasn’t the same look but it made Jongin feel the same feeling that she had then. She felt parched and this shouldn’t be so awkward. But _damn, when did Kyungsoo cross over from cute to hot?_ Her self-made cave has been to effective on shielding her from the rest of the world.

“Are we gonna do this here?” Kyungsoo asked with a confused tilt of his head and there is the cute Do Kyungsoo that Jongin was used to seeing, even though it has been years already. It made her heart calm a bit and regain herself. She refuses to acknowledge the naughty thought that sprung inside her head because that would only mean trouble. Her lack of anything in the romance department is trying to bite her ass and she’ll be damned if she lets that control her.

_You’re here because of your scholarship, Kim Jongin. Focus!_

“Sorry, oppa. Please come in,” she stepped back to allow Kyungsoo to enter her house. He bent down to remove his shoes and Jongin tried very hard to keep her eyes off of him. _Goodness, when did I become a thirsty hoe?!_

“Your house looks nice,” Kyungsoo observed as he followed her around. Jongin has given him a tour so that she wouldn’t have to be with him if Kyungsoo wants to move around when she’s doing her tests or something.

“Thank you. It’s not that big but it’s enough for me and my mom…” she paused as the longing she’s been repressing inside her threatens to spill. It’s been years but she still misses her father terribly at times. She’s gotten better but she can’t help herself from feeling it from time to time. She looked at Kyungsoo and saw him smile reassuringly at her. It felt like he understood so Jongin finally led them to her bedroom.

Seeing Kyungsoo inside her room is doing something to her sanity and she’s regretting it a little. A part of her is getting irrationally excited as Kyungsoo’s eyes seemed to be memorizing every inch of her room. There’s not much to see but something in Kyungsoo’s face tells Jongin that it seems like he’s found something interesting. She subtly checked for anything out of place but there’s none. Her room is awfully plain and fairly clean so there’s nothing to really look at.

If she doesn’t stop overthinking, Jongin might actually go crazy. She took her seat on the low table and Kyungsoo followed suit, eyeing the materials that is laid on the table. He settled his bag down and took a book that’s the same as one of Jongin’s and flipped through its pages.

“So, let’s start with Economics?”

 

Kyungsoo’s assessment is that Jongin is behind her Economics subject by six chapters, two of which were included in the mid-term that she failed, and so, he started by explaining to her the formula for compounded interest. Jongin felt like an idiot after learning the formula that she has missed. It was basic and if she just had time to open her book and study quite a bit, she wouldn’t have done poorly.

But her results have brought her Kyungsoo, so.

They sat across each other during the short discussion and Kyungsoo has given Jongin a short problem set to see if she has indeed learned the right formula to use on specific problems. Kyungsoo volunteered to prepare the snacks as Jongin went over the problems and she couldn’t say no when he looked at her with eyes that left no room for argument. It was stunning because Jongin hadn’t expected Kyungsoo to be so… confident.

“Jongin-ah,” he called from the door but Jongin wasn’t expecting him to be back so soon. She bumped her knee on the table’s edge in her surprise. The pain shot through her thigh and she cursed herself for being too jumpy. Kyungsoo was beside her in a blink with a worried expression. “You’re so easy to startle. I don’t even know if I should apologize.”

Jongin groaned. “Don’t. It’s not your fault anyway.”

The other didn’t look too convinced as he rubbed the reddening spot on her knee. “You should be careful. If I had known, I would’ve just decided on which cake to bring.”

The caring gesture has gotten Jongin’s heart to run into overdrive once more. She doesn’t remember having someone care for her like this apart from her parents and it got her thinking. Is she not this comfortably close to anybody or she’s just crushing on Do Kyungsoo real hard? Her face feels hot but the hand on her knee makes her forget the sting. She didn’t realize that she’s boring holes into Kyungsoo’s head until he turned to her with his brows furrowed.

“Are you okay, Jongin-ah? Should I get ice or..?”

“I’m…” she cleared her throat to avoid herself from squeaking unattractively. “I’m good, don’t worry. And please get the chocolate cake.”

Kyungsoo smiled and Jongin doesn’t know how she’ll survive the rest of the night like that. “Sure. Just stay put, answer the problem set and don’t hurt yourself, okay?”

She hummed in agreement and held her pout when Kyungsoo stood up, letting her knee go. The touch lingered as if it’s still there, warm and comforting. Jongin might be getting ahead of herself so she decides it best to go back to her paper and calculator, filling up the spaces with formula and solution for each item. It’s actually kind of fun and easy so she was able to finish just in time for her tutor to come back with a tray of cakes and drinks.

“Here, I’ve finished it,” she handed the paper proudly to Kyungsoo. He raised his brow in challenge but accepted the paper, nonetheless. The cake looked too appealing to pass. It’s a good distraction too so Jongin took a slice and concentrated to eating it. From her peripheral, she could see her tutor studying her answers and she saw the smart Kyungsoo that has earned many academic achievements back at high school.

Jongin hasn’t realized how much she has watched the senior from before.

“Looks like Econ is done for tonight. I could leave you some more practice problems for the weekend but I’m pretty sure that you’ve gotten it,” Kyungsoo smiled at her once more. Jongin felt smug at the praise. “Maybe we could move on to Stat?”

At this, Jongin blushed in embarrassment because Kyungsoo probably knows that she has almost gotten nothing out of her Stat mid-term. That has sucked big time and she didn’t want him to think that she’s an idiot. It’s just that she’s a business major and Stat is a crucial subject for her future profession. She didn’t want to leave an impression that she’ll be incompetent.

She nodded determinedly, forgetting the half-eaten cake, and put all of her focus into Kyungsoo’s discussion, not thinking about how smooth and deep his voice sounds but to how he explains everything in a way that was easily understood by Jongin. There are five chapters to catch up on and her tutor decides to stop after one and schedule the remaining in the following weeks. If Jongin does well, she’ll be on track two weeks before the finals and give her plenty of time to work on her finals.

She’s working on the Stat problem set but after a few, she’s got stuck. Her pride has held her back from asking for help but Hyorin’s reminder nagged inside her head and so, she gave in.

“Oppa,” she called and her tutor was right beside her with an encouraging look. He’s so close that she started to feel a little dizzy. Kyungsoo even smells so good.

“Yes, Jongin-ah?” he prompted her when her words failed. Jongin kept her mouth shut and poked on the question that she can’t answer. Kyungsoo settled beside her and leaned too much into her personal space to see what she’s pointing at. She should mind but she doesn’t. She was able to fully concentrate on her work on Stat and it’s not so bad to get a little distracted right then.

“Ahh, I see. You’ve just got to input all of the data into the table and then compute for the mean and median…”

When Jongin has emerged from the problem set, she didn’t have to reach too far to give her paper to Kyungsoo as he has perched himself right beside her and looking over her shoulder as she went through them. The space that has been between them before was gone in a matter of hours and it’s all dangerously too fast. It’s confusing and overwhelming Jongin but for some strange reason, she’s not worried at all.

Her trust in Kyungsoo is too much, considering the time that they have known each other. She could hardly count their high school days since they weren’t able to talk the way they had since the day that they were introduced as tutor and tutee. It’s hard to explain and she wonders if this is because of her crush on Kyungsoo. Is this how crushes supposed to feel like? It’s a little too intense, in Jongin’s opinion but she’s not about to reject it. For the first time in a long time, she’s able to feel emotionally active. It’s like she has woken from a long sleep and her body is slowly slipping back to how she should be.

She didn’t even think twice into kissing Kyungsoo’s cheek as she brought him to her doorstep a little past eight. Three hours of productive studying and emotion roller coaster for Jongin and she’s thankful for that. So why the hell not?

“Good night, Kyungsoo-oppa. Thank you,” she’s been smiling too much but she’s not going to stop herself. Happiness is a wonderful feeling and she’s in dire need of it. She has to fill herself up from being not too full of it these past years. It’s the type of feeling that gets addicting so she understands those people who will do anything to chase after their happiness.

“Good night, Jongin-ah. You’re very much welcome,” Kyungsoo looked a bit dazed and Jongin giggled at that. There might be something that she could work on. He smiled at her once more before walking towards his car with a little bounce on his steps. _He’s really cute_ , she thinks. There’s more to Do Kyungsoo than meets the eye and this adds more to her want into knowing him better and deeper.

“See you soon?” he called over his shoulder.

“Yeah, soon.”

 

Soon turned out to be the next day when they just decided to hang out and watch a movie. Jongin thinks that they are in a date but Kyungsoo didn’t say anything so she won’t. Her mother has met Kyungsoo when he picked her up and Jongin nearly died on the spot when her mom remembered Kyungsoo’s name.

“Wasn’t he the boy you’ve been crushing before?”

Good thing that she whispered her question to her daughter or Jongin would have to suffer failing this term completely. Jongin only replied with a nervous chuckle then bade her goodbye.

The ride towards the mall was filled with questions here and there, getting to know each other more. Jongin can’t help the excited butterflies inside her tummy as her mind listed off that things that she and Kyungsoo has in common. They both like the quiet, preferring reading books than sports (Jongin only does dance and nothing more, RnB, and they both have an art that they are good at.

“I didn’t know that you sing, oppa,” Jongin thought out loud. They are looking for available parking space and hopefully they will find one, being Sunday and all that.

“I’m not really good but Baekhyun – do you remember her? – has strung me into the music club and I guess I got better?” he then exclaimed in victory when he has spotted a vacant slot. Once they have parked, Kyungsoo got out quickly that confused Jongin for a second until she saw him rounding to her side. She let him open the door for her and it felt really nice to be treated like that.

“Are you trying to spoil me, Kyungsoo-ssi? It’s working and it’s going to be at your expense,” Jongin crossed her arms over her chest, grinning.

“First, drop the formalities and just call me Kyungsoo. I like that the best and it’s not like I’m much older than you. Well, as for spoiling you…” he paused to reach out for one of Jongin’s arms. She didn’t show any objection and let Kyungsoo pry her arms apart so he could take her right hand into his left, holding it tenderly. “… that’s the plan, anyway.”

Jongin snorted to keep her too happy smile to come out. She can’t have Kyungsoo to be too confident with this. Sure, she likes him more than she has expected herself and she’s starting to love the feeling of their hand holding but she wasn’t about to let all of her inhibitions go just like that.

“I don’t come cheap, mind you.”

Kyungsoo looked stunned for a moment but he smirked – he can actually smirk! – and entwined their fingers tight. “Never pegged you like that so I’m prepared, Kim Jongin.”

 

The day has been great and Jongin is already looking forward to more of these in the future. As much as she tries to rein herself in, it’s proving to be difficult especially since Kyungsoo does all the things that made her fluster and happy. She never thought that one person could feel this much happiness but Kyungsoo has made it possible for her to know.

So if this is just a one-time thing, Jongin has to manage her expectations. She’d rather know the sad truth than be deluded by sweet lies. It’s the first time that she has felt like this but she’s not naïve. She’s watched too many shows and movies and have read books on romance and love that she knows she’s well on her way to getting hurt. Opening one’s self to another could give you both strength and vulnerability.

“Kyungsoo, can I ask you something?”

She sounded too serious even in her own ears but she needed this. Kyungsoo regarded her warily as they stopped right in front of his car. “Shoot.”

“Is this going to be the last time? Or should I expect more?”

Her tutor and date for the day (there’s no other way around it) looked relieved and turned shy. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression…”

Ouch.

“… I’m not sure if I should’ve asked before…”

This is so not fun.

“… because I didn’t want you to think that I’m being too fast or I’m not serious…”

Shouldn’t have expected too much. But he was so nice!

“… but I like you, Jongin. I don’t know if you’ll believe that yet but I promise that this is just the start and there’s definitely more to come…”

... what?!

“… that is, if you want to?”

Jongin was on cloud nine. That is exactly what she wants and hopes to hear. This is a too good opportunity to pass up. She likes Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo says that he likes her too. Jongin probably needs this to break herself out of her shell and see the world beyond it and feel more than she was able to since she lost her father. He would definitely want her to move on. If she does, she could help her mom better that what she has been doing all these years.

This is something new and refreshing. A breath of fresh air and Kyungsoo was the first person to bring her to life after being rusty in the emotional department. Jongin has ran away from all sorts of emotions because she has lost the ability to control them when her father left her and her mother. It made her feel all too weak and shutting them down was easier than having to face them.

But Kyungsoo has brought out the good ones and he’s willing to do it more if Jongin allows him.

“I was hoping that you would say that,” Jongin genuinely smiled, letting her body express her repressed feelings. It felt so light to be freed from herself. She didn’t have enough reason to do that before but right now, there’s Kyungsoo. She’s betting on him.

“You got yourself a deal, baby.”


	2. -2-

Do Kyungsoo is awfully touchy, Jongin concludes the day after they have vaguely agreed to date. The worst (or best, depends if Jongin’s feeling prude or not) part is that Jongin _likes_ it. She didn’t mind when Kyungsoo took her hand when they were strolling in the mall after their movie. She did not pull away when Kyungsoo took her hand from her lap and kissed her knuckles as they stopped at a red light. She let him pull her into a hug when he has brought her to her doorstep and was even expectant of the kiss on her cheek before her date turned to leave.

The following morning, Jongin was surprised to see Kyungsoo’s car parked in front of her house just as her phone rang. It was her tutor-probably-boyfriend calling her. Jongin did expect the hug and the kiss before she was escorted to the passenger seat. She let Kyungsoo hold her hand whenever he could as they drove to the campus. When Kyungsoo dropped her off to her first class, he was just turning to her for another kiss and hug combo when it was Jongin who started it first.

Kim Jongin also concludes that she could be as touchy as Kyungsoo is.

Kyungsoo let her know that his classes ended around two in the afternoon and asked when she’s gonna finish. She still has another class by half past three, but he has an hour and a half break starting two. They both agreed to meet in the café across the street where they serve not only coffee but also awesome chocolate drinks, much to Jongin’s delight. Her excitement over her dark chocolate strawberry shake probably spurred her to plop down beside Kyungsoo, leaving no personal space, and steal a kiss on his cheek.

As they talked comfortably, Jongin felt a warm arm subtly trying to wind itself around her. So to cut the chase short, she scooted even closer to Kyungsoo and rested her head on his shoulder. That could’ve triggered something in the both of them because from then on, it wasn’t an action-reaction thing anymore. Being close to Kyungsoo felt natural to Jongin even though he’s the first person that she’s been this physically close with. And Kyungsoo can’t seem to keep his hands to himself, which works _so much_ fine for Jongin.

After the café date, Jongin was brought back by Kyungsoo while they were hand in hand. Jongin’s fingers entwined with his and stayed like that all the way to the Business building. They earned a few looks but they paid it no mind and only separated when needed. Kyungsoo didn’t leave until Jongin promised to see him later and agreed that they could probably do some more studying for her sake.

Their parting hug had stayed in Jongin’s head for the rest of the day because Kyungsoo just had to kiss the side of her neck before he stepped back. The kiss felt nice but it also made Jongin feel a little hotter than she’s supposed to be. She’s blushing and it’s because of a kiss on her neck and the thoughts that spurred to life with the sensation.

She’s pretty positive that if Kyungsoo were to kiss her on the lips, she will pass out.

And thank goodness, he hadn’t yet. Her tutor showed up at her doorstep right after she has refreshed herself. They did study, though Jongin is already leaning onto Kyungsoo while he is explaining the concepts that she has missed. Kyungsoo have perched his chin on her shoulder to watch how she’s working on her problem sets. And when they finished, she found herself settled in between his legs while watching the Good Dinosaur (it was what was on and they didn’t bother to choose another). Her back is pressed against Kyungsoo’s front and their legs, Kyungsoo’s clothed ones and her bare ones, are side by side.

Kyungsoo held her in place with his arms wrapped around her and his chin hooks her down. The kiss on the neck came back but it didn’t stop at one. The more kisses Kyungsoo leaves on her skin, the more Jongin unconsciously tilts her head to the other side to give him more access. The dancer and tutee has soon forgotten about the movie and concentrated on her tutor’s lips on her. It feels all too nice that her eyes are almost rolling back.

By the time that the ending credits were rolling, Jongin’s head is leaned back on Kyungsoo’s shoulder while her neck is slightly pink from the shower of kisses that it received. She was just awakened back to reality when the elder’s hand have started to caress down her bare thighs. The touch felt exceptionally good but that’s too much. Jongin could only process so much as this stage of their relationship.

“Should I stop? Was it too much? Sorry, baby,” Kyungsoo rasped against her neck when he felt her tense up. That raised goosebumps on her skin that the elder eased that by rubbing his hands over the tops of her arms. Jongin’s embarrassed but she should be able to tell this things to her boyfriend, that’s basic.

She shook her head and took his hands into hers. “Just need to have some getting used to. But it felt nice, too nice, actually.”

She turned her head in time to see Kyungsoo beaming brightly down at her, causing her temporary blindness. That’s why she got the shock of her life when she felt something plump and warm pressing against her lips. It felt amazing, taking her over all of her senses and ability for oxygen intake.

Kyungsoo vowed to never give Jongin surprise kisses on the lips when he realized that his girlfriend passed out on him.

 

Kyungsoo’s visit to Jongin’s house became everyday. Because of this, all the tutoring that Jongin needs was done first week in. It also helped that Jongin wasn’t completely stupid that they were able to make her catch up quickly. Hyorin was the first to know of their relationship because it got quite tricky to lie to her when they told her that Kyungsoo has been with Jongin more often than his tutor duties require. She’s happy for Jongin and she approves of Kyungsoo but she reminded them that they have to tell Jongin’s mother as well.

It was probably high time for Jongin to confess to her mom. She didn’t want to face the shame and disappointment that she would feel if she is to know of Jongin’s secrets from another person. At least, she doesn’t have to worry on losing her scholarship and she has her boyfriend to lean on to. She may have lost three of her exams but she gained something much more valuable.

“Mom, can I be honest with you?” she started that one night that he mom came home earlier than usual. She even prepared dinner which she only does rarely lately. Her mother looked like she was already expecting this and Jongin felt bad. Was her mother waiting for her to say something all this time?

“I thought you were never gonna tell me about you and Kyungsoo,” her mother frowned a bit. “It’s not like I’m gonna stop you, sweetie.”

It was Jongin who got startled. “Wh—it’s not like that, mom! I… I just thought that you will think that it’s too early…” wait. This wasn’t what she was trying to tell yet! “… how did you know, mom?”

Her mother rolled her eyes but she’s sporting a soft smile. “He’s been around quite a lot, Jonginnie. And it’s not hard to see that you like each other. It’s good to see you happy when he’s around so I don’t mind. Besides, he’s a nice guy and he’s been your crush since forever.”

Jongin didn’t expect her mom to tease her like this but before she got sidetracked again, she blurted out her other secret. “The initial reason why Kyungsoo came here is to tutor me, mom. I…” she swallowed the lump on her throat and ducked her head to hide from whatever her mother’s reaction is. “… failed some of my mid-term exams.”

It was quiet after that and it got into Jongin’s nerves. “D-don’t worry, mom. I’m already back on track and Kyungsoo helped a lot so I won’t be losing my scholarship…”

“Jongin, sweetie. It’s okay,” her mom hugged her from behind. “Thank you for telling me and you shouldn’t worry because I’m not mad. Hyorin already explained everything to me.”

“She… she did?!” Jongin sputtered. “But mom…”

“Kim Jongin,” she’s always silenced whenever her mother addresses her with her whole name. “I know you’re a smart girl and I know that you love dancing. I also know that you are responsible and diligent. You may have tripped along the way but you’re a strong girl and you always pick up yourself to continue and move forward. I wasn’t worried at all because I know that you can do this. I trust you, sweetie and now that you have someone special, I’m even more content.

“You’ve been carrying a burden that you didn’t need to but still did. I’m really grateful to you, Jonginnie. You became my strength and I’ve relied on you too much that I had unconsciously kept you away from how you should be living your life. You’re young, sweetie. You still have much to learn and experience. Let yourself love and be loved until you find the right person to give your whole heart to.

“I’ve had your father and I’m thankful that we have even met. I could never have asked for more out of his love for me because he has given me you. I’m sorry if I took my time to realize this and I have already made you grow up faster. You make your father proud, Jongin. I know that he wouldn’t want anything for you but to live happily. It’s about time to concern yourself with that, sweetie. Don’t worry about me or your scholarship or anything that is pulling or slowing you down. You have me, Hyorin, your friends and Kyungsoo to be with you so don’t be scared. You’re not alone, Jonginnie.”

Speechless and in tears, Jongin stood and faced her mother to hug her properly. It’s quite a scene to see, mother and daughter crying in the middle of their dining room but they didn’t care. It has been long overdue for Jongin’s mom to let her daughter know how much she has appreciated her and Jongin felt at peace and glad that what she has done for her mother wasn’t left unnoticed.

The validation that she has received made her life’s purpose for the past years fulfilled. All of the pain and sadness that she has battled were all worth it.

“Sweetie, you know I love you, right?” Jongin’s mother asked when they broke apart from each other’s embrace. It has been a long time since they were able to hug like this and it’s enough to bring forth another set of tears to Jongin. But she held it back.

Jongin nodded. “Of course, mom. I love you, too.”

“So don’t make me a grandma yet, please. I’m still too young to be called, granny, sweetie.”

“Oh god. Mom!”

 

Even though Jongin and Kyungsoo skipped the courting stage in their relationship, they believe that it will not make any difference. What they had is something that has just been put on hold because of circumstances, Kyungsoo believes. So he claims that they should already be celebrating their fifth anniversary the coming year but Jongin didn’t want to. It just doesn’t make sense.

Which couple celebrating their fifth anniversary who hasn’t even kissed on the lips without one of them fainting?

Kyungsoo was more than willing to practice because _practice makes perfect_ but Jongin refused profusely. “I feel like an idiot. I don’t know what to do!”

Her boyfriend started laughing at her so she pushed him away in irritation. But Kyungsoo is stronger than he looks and she should’ve seen it coming when he pulled her back and even closer than before. Kyungsoo likes touching Jongin and she’s not gonna stop him anytime. Jongin may not be used to having someone this close and touchy with her but it feels good and she likes it.

“Everyone started innocent, baby. I’ll teach you, don’t worry.”

Kyungsoo’s voice dipped a notch lower, smirking at his petrified girlfriend. He will lick his lips that always puts Jongin into sweat fest and regards her with sultry eyes. She dubs this his sexy mode and it’s just too much for her sanity to make sense of. How can Kyungsoo be cute and sexy and hot all at the same time? But everytime Kyungsoo slips into his sexy mode, Jongin wants to hide with her knees shaking. Her feels won’t be able to handle getting concentrated doses of that just yet. She would need time, time to process how she was able to deserve someone like Do Kyungsoo.

“I’m not having it any other way except slow and sure,” Jongin wagged her finger warningly in front of an amused Kyungsoo. “We do this my pace.”

One thing that she has learned about Kyungsoo that has stumped her assumptions about him before, yet again, is that he’s a devil. Just as Jongin has requested to take things slow in the physical department of their relationship, there Kyungsoo was, holding Jongin securely with both hands on her face and _kissing_ her.

“Anything for you, babe,” he cheekily said after pulling away with triumph written all over his face.

She may have retained her consciousness this time around but her brain has refused to process everything properly. It’s like she’s watching herself in slow motion, every bit of feelings amplified and her poor heart is getting overworked yet again. Jongin didn’t know what she has gotten herself into.

 

Yixing, Luhan and Sehun are already on Jongin’s _supposedly private_ love life and they wouldn’t leave her alone during club meetings. She and Yixing are supposed to contact some of their alumni to come visit them and give them dance workshops. Now that the intercity competition is over, they can’t just leave the club with nothing to do. It has been quite a tradition for their seniors to come back and share their experiences, for those who have found a career in dancing. Those who didn’t were still welcome to join to give them pointers and some words of wisdom.

And yet, Jongin is trying to get her phone from Yixing who has developed a habit of snatching it from its owner. She’s changed her password just this morning to keep prying eyes away from the content of her phone. Her friends-slash-teammates have already been into her case far enough. They’re nosy as hell.

She smirked smugly when Yixing groaned as he typed the password that he has come to figure out. “Jonginnie! You grouch! Why did you change your password? You are hiding Kyungsoo’s dick pics here, aren’t you?”

Totally red on the face, Jongin was able to snatch her phone back. “Shut up, Xing. I have no such thing!”

Luhan sat beside her and patted her shoulder in sympathy. “Don’t worry, Jonginnie. I won’t judge. I used to keep them on my phone too.”

Or not.

Kyungsoo’s timing of call is impeccable because Jongin has not yet recovered from the fact that her boyfriend has sent dick pics to his ex before and knowing that she’s kept it.

_“Hey, baby. What are you up to?”_

She blurted out something that she didn’t want to take responsibility for. She totally blames Zhang Yixing for this.

“We’re talking about your dick pics and where to find them.”

Guffaws were heard even from far the earpiece. If they were to see Kyungsoo, he’s curled into himself, on the verge of crying over what his girlfriend has just told him. _“I can just show you, Jongin. Just ask nicely.”_

“You better keep that to yourself until I give you permission, please. No letting anybody else see your junk!”

_“Yes, baby. No flashing my junk elsewhere except for you. Happy?”_

“Very.”

_“Good. I’ll be there in five and maybe I could show you the real deal?”_

“Hmmm. Yeah, see you.”

Jongin put her phone away, only to see her friends gaping at her in disbelief. Sehun was shaking his head and was the first one to burst into a laughing fit, followed by his girlfriend and Yixing.

“Did we just hear you agree into seeing Kyungsoo’s dick?” Sehun asked incredulously. “I had that traumatizing incident when I made sure that Lu’s phone is clean after they broke up and I’m scarred for life.”

The last few minutes of Jongin’s life replayed inside her head and she was appalled. She wanted the ground to swallow her because how is she going to face Kyungsoo after their conversation? This was all Yixing and his no-filter mouth’s fault.

Her contemplation on how to roast Yixing for offering to the gods was cut by Kyungsoo who gave her a back hug and a kiss on her right temple. She relaxed at this. She doesn’t know what’s with Kyungsoo’s kisses that it’s always made her feel safe and cared for. It was enough to make her forget her unfortunate slip of the tongue until Luhan spoke.

“Don’t mind, Sehun, Jonginnie,” she probably pinched her boyfriend’s thigh with Sehun wincing in pain then the table was pushed up slightly. “But I assure you, you will not be disappointed,” Luhan winked knowingly and leaned on Sehun’s shoulder.

That night, Jongin wasn’t able to see what the fuzz was about but she was able to feel it and proved that Luhan is indeed correct while trying not to burst from all the blood that has rushed to her head.

 

Jongin was invited into her boyfriend’s house, not his dorm because goodness knows how nosy Yixing gets, so that they could study together as the finals are approaching. Jongin’s mom has told them that she’ll be away for the whole weekend. They could’ve stayed in Jongin’s place but Kyungsoo was eager to let her taste his meals, claiming that he’s a pretty good cook and he has Yixing to back him up. They’ve passed to the grocery first to get ingredients and then, Jongin is looking at the poster-clad walls then to the bed. Kyungsoo sleeps on a king sized bed while Jongin has her double.

She’s curious on how it would feel to lay down on such a bed that brought her at the edge of it, toeing around and slowly brought herself up. Without even a minute of sitting, Jongin is already scooting herself further until she’s in the middle of the mattress and plumped down carelessly.

_I’m in Kyungsoo’s home which leaves us alone for the whole weekend. Just the two of us. Staying in his house for the whole weekend. Why does he even room with Yixing if he has this nice house? Then we’ll most probably shower in the same bathroom and sleep on the same bed. I can always tell Kyungsoo to go sleep on the couch or I could volunteer myself for it but I know that he will not allow it. If I sleep on the bed, he’ll join me. If I sleep on the couch, he’ll bring me here in his room all the same. But then, we will study for the finals. Yep. That would certainly keep us busy._

_But Kyungsoo has his ways of getting me distracted during study time. If he kisses me again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself. I barely did yesterday! Stupid Yixing for sending me that stupid link! Stupid me for watching it and I basically let my brains go the gutter. Ugh!_

Jongin’s inner monologue continued until Kyungsoo came to fetch her for dinner. He saw his girlfriend rolling on top of his crumpled sheets and if this hasn’t been Jongin, he might’ve bust a vein because of the mess that was his pristine sheets but seeing her like this told him that she is thinking about something that makes her conflicted enough to do something childish like rolling all over his bed. Jongin looks adorable like this but he has to know what she has in mind.

He slowly laid on the other side where Jongin has rolled to and readied his arms to catch his girlfriend when she rolls his way. She must’ve been so deep in thought that she fell into Kyungsoo’s trap too easily. She squeaked in surprise when she made contact to his chest. Jongin looked up to him with unreadable eyes that sparked his worry. He hasn’t seen her like this and he’s starting to feel panic.

If only he knew that that’s the face that Jongin makes when she resigns from all her humanity and give in to her carnal desire.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you..?”

“Soo, do you want to kiss me?”

Although puzzled, Kyungsoo humored his girlfriend and nodded. “Of course, babe. Always.”

“I want to kiss you right now,” Jongin spoke breathlessly. Whatever it is that she’s mulling over is starting to confuse her boyfriend.

“Uh, okay?” humoring his girlfriend, Kyungsoo leaned to peck her on the lips. When he pulled back, Jongin is frowning and pouting. He doesn’t know what to make out of her expression. “Baby, where are you going with this?”

Jongin answered as if she hadn’t heard him. “But if we kiss, I will probably remember that damned video and ugh! I’m so fucking curious!”

“Jongin, what—“

But Jongin isn’t hearing him as she continued to mumble to herself. She’s stayed put in Kyungsoo’s arms and so he held on her just to offer some kind of comfort. He doesn’t have any idea on what has Jongin riled up but he’s gonna wait it out. Their dinner could wait for a while.

“Soo, you’re not a virgin, right?”

_Is this a trap?_ Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do but decided against lying. “Yes. Why—“

“So you know what to do after we make out?

“Uhm…”

“Of course, you do. You’ve had sex before…”

“Baby, what’s going on?”

This time, he got through his rambling girlfriend because if he hadn’t, Kyungsoo might’ve lost his mind already. Jongin turned sheepish but determined as she pressed herself against him while batting her eyelashes, trying to look cuter than she already is. He knows that look. Jongin only ever tries to up with her cuteness whenever she wants Kyungsoo to do something for her. Not that he minds but he can’t help but worry what could it be this time, considering the questionable precedent actions of his girlfriend.

“I promised my mom that I’ll wait but I’m _so, so_ curious, Soo. I want to know how sex feels like. From the video that Xing sent me, it looks painful but everyone says otherwise. So I’m curious. Can we? Uhh, just don’t get me pregnant, okay?”

Jongin squirmed her way out of Kyungsoo’s frozen hold and crawled towards his bedside drawer. “I’ve read that people usually keep condoms in places like this. Do you keep them here, too? We’d need that, yes?” she started to raid the first drawer when Kyungsoo recovered from being stunned by Jongin’s words. He pulled her by the waist and crawled on top of her.

She looks beautiful like this, eyes wide and her lips slightly parted from the surprised scream that she let out when she was suddenly laid on her back. Kyungsoo looked for any sign of fear and uncertainty on Jongin. She’s the one who has been skittish with being physical since they have gotten together and then, she’s suddenly asking Kyungsoo if they could have sex?

“Baby, this doesn’t make sense. I thought you’re not yet ready?”

She looked up guiltily as she raised her arms to wrap them around his shoulders. “I don’t think this is about me feeling ready,” she met his gaze with her gentle yet probing eyes. “I, for one, won’t know if I’m truly ready. It’s not like I have a reference or something to base on my readiness. And I trust you, Soo. And I love you and I’m curious so why not?” she shrugged before she pulled him down on her.

But Kyungsoo heard her loud and clear and yet, he can’t believe what he has actually heard. “Can you say that again?”

“Hmm? I want to have sex with you?”

He groaned. Jongin is not making this easier for him and for his hormones. He rolled them over so he could look at his girlfriend easier as she laid on top of him. “No, babe. You said that you trust me… and?”

“Ahh, I love you?”

At least, Kyungsoo proved to himself that he wasn’t in delusion. “Really? You do?”

Shy Jongin was back once more and she slid herself up so she can hide her face on the crook of his neck. Kyungsoo pushes down his not-so-innocent desires because he has a more pressing matters at hand. “I believe so. I mean…” she paused, probably trying to phrase her thoughts properly. “… I feel all those cliché descriptions of love in movies and in books and so much more. I’m no expert on this, Soo. You’re my first boyfriend ever but I want you to be the last too.

“I want to be with you always and you always make me smile, even from just a text message. I never thought that I would even feel these things until you came to me again. You’re the only person that has made me want to feel again, to try to be happy again. I always crave your kisses, you know? I always look forward to them because you make me feel safe and just happy whenever you kiss me. I don’t know what else to say, really but do I really have to have a reason to love you? I just do, Soo. I love you enough to want to give you my everything. Is that enough?”

Kyungsoo felt like crying because this girl who took his heart as she seemed to shine as she walked with grace down that hallway back when he was a junior is saying that she loves him. He didn’t really do anything besides tutoring her and make her see that there is more to life out there that she has been missing. He saw how her shine has dulled when she lost her father and if he just had time, he would’ve worked into bringing her shine back sooner.

But to know that he has actually managed to do it still, albeit a little late, has gotten his life’s purpose fulfilled. They haven’t been together long but as he said, he likes to think that they’ve already made a connection before, it was just a matter of rekindling it again. That’s why they’ve clicked so easily when they’ve met again and their familiarity and comfort with each other seems so natural.

Kyungsoo would call them soulmates but he’s going to take what he could.

“That’s more than enough, Jongin-ah. And for the record, you’ve already had my heart with you since we were in high school.”

Jongin hit him playfully on his shoulder. “Liar. You were with Luhan before me.”

He shrugged and carefully raised her head so they could see eye to eye once more. “True but what I’ve given her is a part of the love that should’ve been yours, if you would’ve taken it. Besides, we’re just the same. She’s also giving me the love that she can’t impose on Sehun and when he eventually came around, it was perfect. Just like when you’ve acknowledged my existence again. Aren’t we perfect like this?”

“Fine, you cheeseball,” she rolled her eyes. “So how are we gonna start? Do we need to get naked right away?”

Kyungsoo has already forgotten about Jongin’s request. He’ll be more than glad to give in but Jongin deserves better.

“No, we won’t. And I’m not going to let your first time be just about sex and quenching your curiosity, baby. We’ll make love and I’ll make sure that you will never forget about it.”

 

Kyungsoo may have said that he wouldn’t make Jongin forget the first time that they’ll make love but he’s almost succeeding in making her forget that they are going to make love. Jongin have expected that after the dinner, she’ll be pinned down on the king-sized mattress in Kyungsoo’s bedroom. What happened instead is that Kyungsoo told her to go first so that he could bake them cookies for their study snack. Jongin obeyed, though quite confused.

A little close to an hour after, Kyungsoo followed with sweet-looking and mouth-watering plate of choco-banana bread slices and a pitcher of water. Jongin’s patience is being tested but she doesn’t want to let go of her pride more than she already has and so she followed through her boyfriend’s antics, getting out her notes and studying all that she could on her own.

She felt productive and content as she was able to finish two of her subjects when Kyungsoo urged her to take a break and eat. Just like the dinner Kyungsoo has prepared, their snack was also delicious and Jongin couldn’t help but down three slices. No one’s going to judge her if she breaks her diet sometimes. Besides, there’s no competition to prepare for in the near future and so she indulged.

When Kyungsoo called it a night, he told her that she could use the shower first as he cleans up. Jongin did as she was told and it was when they were lying side by side and face to face on the bed that she has remembered her request. She snuggled closer to Kyungsoo, who readily guided her until she’s pressed to his chest.

“Good night, babe,” Kyungsoo kissed the top of her head and tightened his hold around her.

Jongin squirmed. “Wait! Soo, don’t sleep yet!”

She felt a little guilty when Kyungsoo tipped her chin up and she saw his tired eyes, barely opened, looking at her. “What is it?”

Feeling that Kyungsoo is too tired to entertain her curiosity, Jongin acquiesced. Shaking her head, she smiled slightly before reaching up just enough to kiss Kyungsoo good night. “Nothing. Just wanted to do that.”

Her boyfriend’s lips turned into a heart and landed on hers briefly but sweetly. “Thank you, Jongin-ah. Let’s sleep? We have a long day tomorrow.”

Jongin could live like this forever. Kyungsoo may not have jumped her the right as he gets the chance but with him holding her like this, she feels wanted and loved all the same. It may not be intimately intimate but they’re close enough for their hearts to touch.

“Sweet dreams, Soo.”

Maybe, Kyungsoo is a little far gone to hold a conversation but his sleepy response is just as good as anything else. Even better, actually.

“Hmm, love you, too.”

Jongin fell asleep, her virginity untouched but her heart was taken. And she won’t have it any other way.

 

Finals week passed and Jongin ended it with a big smile on her face. She’s pretty confident that she did well in all of her tests and she’s going to keep her scholarship for the next term. She’s welcomed by her waiting boyfriend outside her classroom and damned be damned when she walked up to him and kissed him squarely on his lovely, lovely lips. She knows she’s attracting attention but there’s nothing that she wants to do but kiss Kyungsoo. Just a few weeks ago, she’s imagined herself crying by the end of the term because of her scholarship but now, she has a boyfriend who helped her get back on her feet.

“I’m happy to see you, too, Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo chuckled when Jongin finally let him go. “I take it that everything’s good?”

Jongin nodded with a big smile. “Of course! Wouldn’t want to waste your efforts on me.”

“It could never go to waste, babe. My efforts have gotten me you,” Jongin blushed so to hide it, she reached for Kyungsoo’s hand and held on it. “Let’s go?”

“Where?” Jongin didn’t know that they made plans. She tilted her head a little in confusion.

Kyungsoo pulled on their hands and started to walk away from her classroom. “We’re going to celebrate.”

“What?”

Her boyfriend didn’t elaborate further and just pulled her along to get into his car. Seems like Kyungsoo has a surprise for her so she wouldn’t want to spoil it for him. She kept to herself as they drove in comfortable silence towards a familiar neighborhood. Jongin smiled as she remembered the way towards Kyungsoo’s house. She has asked him about having his own house and why is he living in the dorms. Kyungsoo said that the house is his parents gift to him when he entered college but it felt lonely to live on his own. His parents are living in the countryside, watching over their farming business, leaving him to live independently.

But he doesn’t want to let the house go so he stays in the dorms during weekdays and he stays in his house during the weekends. This has also explained why Jongin hasn’t seen him in Yixing’s dorm before when she drops by during the weekends.

Going to Kyungsoo’s place means free good food and honestly, Jongin couldn’t wait. After tasting Kyungsoo’s food, other food just seems bland to her, except her mom’s cooking. She’ll be hurt to know that her boyfriend cooks better than her.

Speaking of her mom, she remembered to let her know where she’s going and might be coming home late, if she will even be coming home that night.

“Hey, mom.”

_“Hi sweetie. On your way to Kyungsoo’s?”_

“Uhh, yes. How did you --?”

_“He already told me that he’s going to borrow you for the weekend. He even got you a few of your clothes, Jonginnie.”_

This surprise better be good if her mother is looped in like this. “Oh, okay, mom. I’ll see you.”

_“Don’t worry about me, sweetie. Just remember, no kids yet until you graduate, okay?”_

“Mom!”

Jongin is a blushing and stuttering mess when she ended the phone call, just in time as Kyungsoo got into the driveway of his house. He’s got this amused smirk on his face and she knows that he kind of knows how her conversation with her mom went. Pouting petulantly, Jongin glared at her boyfriend when he turned to her, puzzled when she hadn’t gotten off the car when they were parked.

“You’ve got some explaining to do, Mr. Do.”

Kyungsoo pretended to be thinking of something. “We’re here because we are going to celebrate the end of finals week, your retention in the scholarship program and you’ll get what you’ve asked before.”

“What did I ask for?” for the life of her, Jongin couldn’t remember what it was that she has asked her boyfriend. She’s been to focused into her exams that she might’ve forgotten something along but she hardly forgets anything about Kyungsoo. She always remembers to send him a text at least twice a day to let him know that she’s still alive even after getting buried under her notes. She remembers all the topics that they have studied together and she remembers to tell Kyungsoo that she loves him at least once a day.

What could be that request that she has forgotten?

With a smirk, this time playful, Kyungsoo gently patted Jongin’s head. “You’ll see.”

 

The dishes won’t wash by themselves and so Jongin has assigned herself to do them in turn for the scrumptious dinner that Kyungsoo has prepared for them. He insisted on not making her do any work because she is a guest but Jongin put her feet down. This is the least that she could do as thanks for the food and she wouldn’t want to simply sit around so she has to make herself useful.

Humming to herself, Jongin is rinsing the last plate under the running tap water when she felt arms snaking around her waist and a chin propped on her shoulder. The presence is familiar and she’s gotten used to Kyungsoo’s clinginess that she let him be and turned to the dish in her hand, towel drying it. She almost dropped the plate though, when Kyungsoo kissed a spot on her neck that they know is sensitive to touch. She regained her composure, albeit slower since it has been days since she and Kyungsoo have been able to touch each other.

Thankfully, she was able to put the dish down safely when Kyungsoo started to lick on her neck and her breathing stopped altogether when he sucked on that sensitive spot. It has gotten her knees to buckle and if it weren’t for the sturdy arms holding her, Jongin would’ve slid to the floor.

“Soo, what-- ?”

“Go shower, babe,” Kyungsoo’s voice was huskier than normal and it’s making Jongin feel quite hot. “I’ll finish these.”

At a loss for words, Jongin simply nodded and stepped away from the embrace. It was then that she noticed that Kyungsoo has been back hugging her, fresh from the shower and half naked. She could literally feel her face burning as she can’t help but take in her boyfriend’s body. Sure, she’s been curious about it a lot of times but she was caught off guard.

In the middle of washing off the soap off her body while contemplating on Kyungsoo’s actions, Jongin has had an epiphany and she almost let herself drown in bath water.

_I promised my mom that I’ll wait but I’m so, so curious, Soo. I want to know how sex feels like._

_Hmm? I want to have sex with you?_

“Fuck!” _What had I gotten myself into?_

She’s practically asked her boyfriend to have sex with her last week. And her forgetting about it means her brain was to embarrassed to keep it in her conscious. But then, since she has thought that herself, her subconscious stored it away and brought it up just in time. If she had gone out of the bathroom without a clue on what it going to happen, she will probably faint. And that would lead to Kyungsoo not touching her again until he deems her recovered.

When she passed out after he has surprised her with a kiss, it took almost a week for Kyungsoo to kiss her again. It sucked because she likes kissing Kyungsoo. So if he will see any hesitation on her, her boyfriend will probably wait until they’re married to have sex with her. If Jongin is looking into the future that involves marrying her boyfriend, it’s going to be around five years of waiting and how will she be able to survive that?

Her curiosity has been awakened and the boldness that came over her the previous week came back. As well as Kyungsoo’s words that has reassured her even more with deciding that if she’s to lose her v-card to anyone, it could only be Kyungsoo.

_No, we won’t. And I’m not going to let your first time be just about sex and quenching your curiosity, baby. We’ll make love and I’ll make sure that you will never forget about it._

Spurred by the mix of her emotions and trust into her boyfriend, Jongin stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in a single towel. She has brought clothes with her but since she’s going to take them off anyway, she leaves them untouched. She saw Kyungsoo right away, lounging comfortably on his bed, back leaning on the headboard, blanket covering his lower body and a book on his right hand.

Jongin watched his every movement as the click of the bathroom door shutting interrupted the silence. Kyungsoo dropped the book and his eyes automatically found where Jongin is standing a little awkwardly. He smiled at her knowingly and put his book away on his night stand. He stood up and headed to his study table, to which he beckoned Jongin to.

As if on autopilot, Jongin found herself heading towards the dresser and sitting in front of the table cluttered with Kyungsoo’s books and some of his notes. From her peripheral, she saw Kyungsoo take something out of his closet and plugged it to the outlet where Kyungsoo connects his laptop charger. The loud whirring of the hair dryer was the only noise that reverberated the room.

Jongin almost purred at the gentle hands massaging her scalp a little while her hair is being dried. In all honesty, she didn’t expect this to happen. How would she know that Kyungsoo keeps a hair dryer in his house and he will volunteer himself to dry her hair? Nonetheless, she sat behaved and enjoyed the tender hands working through the knots in her head. She almost fell asleep from the calming effects of hair blow drying but the whirring stopped and there’s a comb taming down her locks.

“Soo,” she mumbled. “Are you trying to get me to sleep?”

Kyungsoo chuckled, letting go of her newly dried and combed hair. “Not really. I’m just trying to stop you from getting a cold coming to bed with wet hair but if you want to sleep, then by all means.”

She snorted unattractively and on cue, her boyfriend is laughing like he always does because Jongin is being adorable. How? Only Kyungsoo knows. “Shut up. I didn’t wear clothes for nothing.”

Jongin felt Kyungsoo’s hands on her shoulder as he spun her around to face him. He’s still topless and in black sweatpants. It’s kind of taxing to look up since he’s standing too close but if Jongin wouldn’t, she’ll most likely be facing her boyfriend’s crotch. She’s still kind of shy about it and even more embarrassed when she remembered how it felt in her hands.

“I was sure that you didn’t remember your request from last week,” Kyungsoo’s teasing smirk is on and he’s just hot whenever he smirks. It doesn’t help Jongin’s self-control, really.

“Too bad my memory’s just slow but not faulty,” she countered. Kyungsoo will probably find a way to get out of this again, just like how he has stalled for this until after their finals. He didn’t need to explain himself to Jongin but she’s glad that her boyfriend has the restraint between them. If they did have sex as she requested, she might not be able to put her focus into her exams.

Kyungsoo knows her too well and this is one of the things that she loves him for.

“Alright, you win,” he sighed in defeat. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Do Kyungsoo…” the subtle threat rang between them and Kyungsoo knows when to not push Jongin. He didn’t want her to cage herself again.

“Just… don’t pass out on me and please tell me to stop when it gets too much,” he went down on his knees so he could look at his tower-clad girlfriend properly. “I want you to do this because you want to. Not for any other reason. I know that this is a big step, especially for us since we haven’t been dating for long so if you want to stop, I will not get mad or anything. I can always wait for you, babe. I’ve been waiting for years for you and I wouldn’t mind waiting for more so long as you won’t leave me.”

His face is being cupped by slightly cold hands and Kyungsoo can’t help but close his eyes as Jongin kissed him. It hasn’t been long since she has started to initiate things between them and he wouldn’t want to fuck things up just as it’s blooming. He’s more than okay to go with Jongin’s pace.

“I know, Soo,” she smiled down at him, something that he hasn’t seen her do much in the past and seeing it up close and directed at him, Kyungsoo knows that his waiting was so much worth it. It was a long shot since he didn’t really make an effort to wiggle himself into Jongin’s life again. It just came to be, like fate.

He’s really banking on his Jongin-and-I-are-soulmates theory.

“You don’t need to say it because I know and I love you for it,” she kissed him once more, still a firm press of their perfectly fitting lips but it’s still warm and full of unspoken emotions. “Thank you. Thank you for waiting and thank you for being here. You don’t know how much you changed me, Soo but know that I like this me better.”

If Kyungsoo was at war with his hormones just a few minutes ago, it has simmered down but he’s overwhelmed. Filled to the brim with the love that he feels for Jongin. He didn’t want to think of how Jongin regards him because honestly, it’s not like he has done something monumental for him to earn the love Jongin is giving him. He could only accept it with all his heart and do everything in his power to give it back to her with much more.

“Love you, Soo.”

“I love you more, baby.”

 

The towel was easy to lose but that is how Jongin wanted it. She wanted to go hide or cover herself when it dropped to her ankles but she didn’t, not when Kyungsoo looks at her with nothing but affection and want. And Jongin is doing this because she trusts Kyungsoo, she loves him and one way to show her that she does is by giving all herself to him.

That is if you would want to put how Jongin has been low-key perving on her boyfriend in a cheesy way, sure.

They’re standing by the edge of the bed and Kyungsoo’s hands were hooked into the waistband of his sweatpants. Jongin laid her hands on top of his and looked at him with firm resolve. And so Kyungsoo let her take his pants off for him, sliding it off his hips, past his nice ass, down his firm thighs until it fell down freely to his ankles.

Jongin had to control herself not to let her curiosity take over when her face had gotten so near Kyungsoo’s dick since she allowed herself to bend down, following as his pants are in the process of getting pulled off. He’s only half-hard and it made Jongin swallow hard. She wanted this so she better suck it up.

_Oh god, brain. Shut up._

But Jongin let herself admire her boyfriend. She didn’t expect to see defined muscles under all of Kyungsoo’s clothes. He didn’t give off the feel of someone who goes to the gym but looking at his arms, thighs and chest, he definitely does visit. There is a faint outline of abs that she’s seeing and Jongin’s trying to focus on that instead of what lies beneath it. She’s not succeeding, though.

“You can touch,” Kyungsoo offered as he took one of her hands in his. “I’m all yours.”

Jongin regarded her slightly-out-of-breath boyfriend and saw that she’s not the only one who’s curbing something. It would be unfair to just receive from Kyungsoo. She’s ought to do her part.

“I’m all yours, too,” she pointed out in a whisper.

And then Kyungsoo’s mouth is on hers, kissing her fiercely and passionately. It sparked something inside of her and all her inhibitions went. She pulled Kyungsoo close and ran her hands on his back, feeling his muscles move under her fingertips. Warm hands cupped her ass and pushed her hips to meet with Kyungsoo’s and everything felt hot, hot, too hot when he started to grind their crotches together.

Jongin was lost in all the sensation that she’s being assaulted with and she’s moving based on her instincts. She didn’t know how she knows what to do next but she could hardly care as Kyungsoo’s lips started to trail down her neck when her back has hit the mattress. Jongin never thought that to be held like a lifeline would feel this wonderful. Kyungsoo holds her like he’s afraid that she’ll disappear if he’s holding her loosely.

She also didn’t know that certain touches will make her burn even more but crave for it. She has her hands tangled in Kyungsoo’s soft locks when his kisses were turned on her perked nipples. Jongin didn’t know how sensitive they could get but she’s moaning shamelessly as Kyungsoo lapped, sucked and bit on them. Her body’s unconsciously looking for friction and it’s driving Kyungsoo crazy.

The abandonment in Jongin’s actions and her complete submission and trust in Kyungsoo gave him more reasons to treasure her with all his heart. As she slowly discovers things that she hadn’t thought existed, Kyungsoo feels a swell of pride as he has made it possible for her. If Jongin is this willing for him, she deserves nothing but Kyungsoo’s everything.

He wouldn’t want Jongin to wait out for long since this is her first time.

“Baby, tell me to stop if you want to, okay?” Kyungsoo panted on her lips. Looking dazed, Jongin gave him a weak nod and smile before pulling him in another kiss.

His hand slid right in between her legs and groaned at the spike of arousal he felt when his fingers met the slick warmth. He prodded for Jongin’s clit slowly but her sudden gasp made him retract his hand and check for any discomfort on Jongin’s face.

“Don’t stop,” Jongin breathed as she guided his hand back to where it was before. “That felt really good.”

With nothing else better to do, Kyungsoo complied and dove in just in time to capture Jongin’s delicious moan with his kiss. He could feel blunt nails digging on his back but that’s the least of his concerns, especially since he’s the reason why Jongin is slowly coming apart under his touch.

Jongin sees nothing but Kyungsoo and feels nothing but his hands on her and in her but that doesn’t mean that she already knows what to expect when he moved close to her ear and told her that he will be right back. She feels boneless as Kyungsoo’s weight lifted off of her. The distance between them gave her time to think and relish the pleasure that he has been giving her. No wonder why people could swear their life into having sex all the time.

It feels nothing short of amazing. All these years, Jongin never truly felt that she’s not alone. Her mother isn’t as warm as she had been before, hurt always evident in her eyes no matter how hard she tries to hide it. Hyorin has always been there but she’s still her teacher and she has to draw a line so as not to come off as a teacher’s favorite. She has never gone out of her way to make friends, Yixing and the rest were sort of inevitable since she is in the dance club. She has never truly felt connected with someone until Kyungsoo.

Maybe because he has been a part of her past that didn’t give her pain. He was that innocent crush that has made Jongin’s day brighter by just seeing him and she never had a sad memory to relate to him. Kyungsoo has been a part of her life before it has reduced to her thinking of nothing much outside her routine of school, dance and home.

The feeling to connect with someone must be innate in all human beings that is why despite what Jongin has gone through, she wasn’t able to resist it when Kyungsoo gave her a chance to get grounded from the secluded cloud that has been her refuge.

“Hey, babe,” Kyungsoo husked as he joined her again on the bed, still in his birthday suit but with a gentle smile tugging on his lips. Jongin has always thought that ‘babe’ is such a tacky and cheesy pet name but she can’t find it in herself to mind whenever Kyungsoo call her that. “Still up for it?”

Surprised to have a little strength on her limbs, she crawled over to him and plopped down comfortably. Kyungsoo huffed at the impact but he immediately wrapped his arms around her to hold her in place. She feels good like this, just sharing space and body heat, but then she remembered how nice it is to have his fingers pushing in and out of her. She’s anticipating how it would feel when she’s filled with something else.

Thank goodness Jongin knows at least the basics of having sex and she wouldn’t have to blush when she feels Kyungsoo’s cock against her thigh. It feels hard and she acted upon a thought that has popped in her mind shamelessly. What would it feel like to hold it bare?

She didn’t ask permission. Jongin’s afraid that she will squeak through it and let her hand tell Kyungsoo what she wants. She reached in between them and tentatively wrapped her fingers around his shaft. Kyungsoo released a shaky breath and his arms pulled her closer to him.

“J-jongin,” he stuttered out as her hand slid up and down easily because of the lube-covered condom that he has on. Jongin resists that urge to pout because Kyungsoo has listened to her when she secretly wants to do this with nothing in between them. She’s heard from Luhan read that it feels way better than with a condom. Maybe she could ask her boyfriend to forego it for their first time? She barely had time to point it out when they were suddenly flipped, Kyungsoo on top of her, looking at her with lust mixed with the affection that she usually sees in his beautiful eyes.

“Tell me to stop now,” he urged pointlessly but Jongin still shook her head and opened her legs wider in invitation.

Their lips met in a messy kiss as Kyungsoo breached her entrance slowly. There’s a dragging pain and she makes a mental note to thank Kyungsoo for preparing her before this. It took some time for her to adjust and follow Kyungsoo’s advise to stay calm and relaxed. The first few thrusts has her hiding on Kyungsoo’s neck but as he gradually increased his pace, Jongin was shot through another cloud that she wouldn’t mind staying on forever.

Her lungs felt like it was burning from the lack of air as Kyungsoo hastened his hips, endless moans and breathless calls filled the room. The build of pleasure is faster than just with Kyungsoo’s fingers, like they had just left off where they had a short break. Jongin was delirious and her senses were clouded that the moment Kyungsoo has grazed her spot, she came undone without too much warning.

Jongin will never find touching herself satiating anymore.

When she came to be, she has her arms around Kyungsoo’s shoulder and his head pressed on her neck. He’s still moving in and out of Jongin, though slower and not wanting to hurt Jongin in her post-coital bliss. She could feel that her boyfriend is still hard and she knows better than to leave Kyungsoo with blue balls. That’s just cruel for him to suffer when Jongin has had the best feeling she ever had in her entire existence.

“Soo,” she half-groaned, half-whispered. “let me help you.”

Kyungsoo paused and shifted so they are eye to eye. He is slowly pulling out, much to his girlfriend’s chagrin. “Don’t worry about me, this is about you.”

Jongin figured out that she will not win if she continues to argue so she nodded and practically crawled over the naked Kyungsoo, pushing him lightly to lay on his back. She could already feel the start of being sore and so she had to do something else rather than pushing Kyungsoo back in her. He let Jongin follow the trail that he did when he kissed her. He gathered her hair up as she paid attention to his nipples.

Jongin is a fast learner.

A sharp gasp escaped Kyungsoo’s lips as the condom he was still wearing was slid off his length only to be replaced by something hot and wet and plump. He’s given the sexy sight of having Jongin’s lips wrapped around his cock. He was left speechless and could only grunt and curse as Jongin took the liberty to lap him up. She was still sloppy but not bad for someone with sexual experience the same as her.

What had Kyungsoo cumming unexpectedly is when Jongin has finally looked up to him, lips fully stretched around his cock and gleaming eyes. He fisted his hands to keep them from pulling on Jongin’s hair and closed his eyes, letting the sensation of exploding inside of her enticing mouth overrule his senses. He felt her slight hesitation before swallowing his load, the walls of her cheeks closing around him.

Kyungsoo had to pull Jongin up gently but eagerly brought their lips together. He didn’t mind tasting himself inside Jongin’s mouth. Instead, he fells something fuzzy welling up inside of him. It’s a good feeling and it’s urging him to hold Jongin against him closely and look forward to every chance that he’s got to do it.

After shifting of limbs here and there, they’re both lying on their sides while facing each other. Jongin just has to swing her leg over Kyungsoo’s hips and throw her arm to fit them against each other. Kyungsoo didn’t waste time and engaged his sexed-up girlfriend into lazy making out. They felt their lips stretch into a smile at some point before they lean in again to mold their lips around each other’s.

When they broke away, Jongin’s straining her neck but she couldn’t care about it as Kyungsoo’s sparkling wide eyes are seemingly looking through her while his lips curved into a heart. Her eyes shut in content when her hair was brushed back, getting her scalp massaged a little. He then thumbed her cheeks, his eyes softening into pools of endless depths that Jongin would want to explore, even if it takes forever.

“I love you, Kim Jongin. Before, during and after this lifetime and beyond universes.”

Despite everything that they had just done, Jongin is still able to shy away and blush bashfully at how tender, raw and honest Kyungsoo’s words are. She ducked her head but snuggled deeper into his chest and kissed the skin she was able to make contact with.

Though muffled, Jongin’s words had Kyungsoo smiling widely, even in his sleep.

“Don’t say such nice things when all I could say is that I love you, too. That’s all I’ve got to give, Soo ‘cause that’s my everything. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehem. kindly excuse my mediocre smut. as always. huhuhu  
> please don't judge me harshly. lol  
> i do hope you enjoyed this. :P


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